Bachelor Franchise,  The Bachelorette

The Bachelorette Week 5: Viva Las Vegas

This episode Becca and the boys head to Las Vegas because they need to get a little fancier than Park City, Utah. The first few minutes consist of shots or Becca making Vegas puns then the guys making Vegas puns. We get it you are in Vegas. Becca pops some champagne and runs around the suite with the guys. The next day the first date card comes and it’s a one-on-one with Colton.

Remember Colton this is Becca, not Tia.

The Dates

As Colton heads to his date, the camera crew conveniently zooms in on a sign that says “Virgin River” since in the first super preview, Colton reveals he’s a virgin. Will this be the date he tells Becca?

No. It’s not. Honestly, this date was very dull. It was pretty cliche Bachelor stuff with camel rides and a hot tub in the middle of the desert. I didn’t pay much attention to what they said, but Colton was given the date rose, no surprise there. I feel like Becca wants to put her mark on Colton before Tia inevitably scoops him up in Paradise.

Will, Garrett, Blake, John, Connor, Leo, Lincoln, Jason, and Chris are on the group date. It takes place at Wayne Newton’s house or should I say palace. Wayne Newton and his 10,000 facelifts ride in on a horse. The Bachelorette producers must not have had any original ideas this week because for this date the guys must sing their own version of Danke Schoen for Becca. Chris is reveling in this since he just had this exact date a few weeks ago. All the guys’ performances suck, but Chris manages to hide his terrible singing behind a fun performance. He sings loud and proud and dances around the stage. The guys and Becca seem to dig his performance a tad better than everyone else’s. Chris believes this means he is a shoo-in for the group date rose and queue the ego boost.

During the evening portion of the group date, Chris and his ego are so sure they are getting the group rose that Chris doesn’t even try to get time with Becca. As Becca starts spending more and more time with everyone but Chris, he begins to spiral.

Blake confesses he is falling in love with Becca and unlike Jean Blanc, it comes off sweet and Becca says she is feeling the same. Blake gets the group date rose and Chris goes berserk. He starts to think Becca doesn’t like him and threatens to go home. Why Chris why? I used to like you and thought you would be a likable underdog, but you are proving me wrong and have become plain embarrassing.

 

Speaking of embarrassing, we now get to embark on the infamous 2-on-1 date with none other than David and Jordan. Becca drives them out to a giant bed in a desert which is clearly pulled from the Ashley I. and Kelsey 2-on-1 on Chris Soules’ season, so you know there is about to be drama.

There is a long awkward silence between the three of them before Becca pulls David away. Of course in Bachelor fashion, instead of spending time getting to know Becca, David decides to use his time snitchin on Jordan and making up things Jordan said. You can tell Becca is unamused.

Becca brings this up to Jordan which pisses him off, so he goes over to David and gives him another speech about how David is a loser and needs to hop off.

“Being me is my greatest power, being you is not your greatest power,” says Jordan.

Becca comes back over to the guys and confronts them both. Instead of talking about their issues rationally, David and Jordan fight like seventh-grade girls. Becca must have felt the same because she shouts “Am I in high school?” and walks away.

After Becca comes back from popping some aspirin for her migraine she is getting from this date, she sends David home. While she doesn’t give Jordan a rose, she does invite him to dinner. As with any 2-on-1 date, we are treated to a view of David being left in the middle of the desert as Becca and Jordan drive away. That’s always my favorite part of the 2-on-1 date.

During dinner, Becca and Jordan have on of the most authentic conversations I’ve seen on this franchise. Instead of talking about relationships and sappy stuff they joke around for a while like friends until Jordan starts talking about modeling. Obviously, Becca doesn’t feel a spark and decides to send Jordan packing as well. We all saw that coming.

Back at the hotel, the suitcase lady comes in to take David and then Jordan’s suitcase and all the other guys cheer. Man, it must be fun having her job.

Cocktail Pary & Rose Ceremony

The cocktail party begins and Chris is still bitching about how Becca didn’t talk to him on the group date. When they finally get time at the cocktail party, he tells Becca that she owes him “50,000 kisses”. “Excuse me?” Becca replies. Chris and his ego start talking about how they deserved Becca’s attention during the group date and Becca’s attraction to Chris went from 100 to 0. She goes to speak to a couple of other guys and Chris realizes that their convo was not great so he goes to find her again.

Chris finds Becca with Wills and asks to speak to her, but both her and Wills say they just sat down. Chris pleads and pleads until Wills decides to give him two minutes. As Chris babbles on yet again about how bruised his ego is, Wills is in the corner counting the seconds. Pretty much two minutes later Wills comes back and Chris again tries to plead for more time.

“No” – Wills

At this moment I am 100% on board for #WillsForBachelor because he handled Chris’ annoying ass with grace and stood up for Becca.

Becca finds Chris for the third time and Chris tries to put on the charm. If he had done this the first time they talked I feel like Becca would’ve forgiven him, but you can tell she is now completely turned off by him.

The rose ceremony starts and Colton and Blake have a rose. The rest of the roses go to Garrett, Jason, Wills, Lincoln, Leo, Connor, and Chris. When Becca gives that last rose to Chris, she looks annoyed which could only mean a producer or two convinced her to keep Chris on for at least another week. That means Venmo John has to go home. I’m honestly surprised he’s been here as long as he has. I’m even more surprised he is scheduled to appear on Paradise in August. Hopefully, we’ll get to see more of his charm on the beaches of Mexico but until then keep making that dough Johnny.

Since Chris has spiraled out of control this episode he has also spiraled out of my favorites. That means my go-to guys for this season are Blake and Wills. Please, Bachelorette gods keep these guys pure because I can’t bear to see another one of my favs go crazy this season.

Next week Becca and the boys are going to “The Place for Lovers,” none other than my new home state and only an hour from where I live, Richmond, VA. I’m lowkey mad I heard nothing about this during filming because I for sure would’ve tried to “accidentally” be where Becca’s dates were happening. I’m excited to see what Bachelor type dates they’ll find out here in VA. Stay tuned for next week!