Bachelor Franchise,  The Bachelorette

Let’s Do The Damn Thing – Bachelorette Breakdown Week 1

After a much-needed break from watching The Bachelor, I was looped back in after I heard that Arie left the woman he proposed to on the finale for the runner-up and recorded their breakup. I instantly tuned into part 2 of After the Final Rose to see Becca on the couch watching the breakup back along with America. I didn’t watch the season because I had no idea who Arie was but instantly felt for Becca when I saw Arie crawl back to his runner-up Lauren acting like he didn’t claim to be in love with Becca a week before.

Ironically the first time I ever saw anything Bachelor related was when Jason Mesnick did the same thing to his initial pick, Melissa. In their case, it seemed like Melissa saw it coming, and Molly didn’t take Jason back with open arms like Lauren did.

I digress…

The show started with Becca’s backstory, obviously showing clips of her with Arie and her talking to her family about being the Bachelorette. After a few clips of Becca at home, we see her in the mansion with the last three Bachelorettes Rachel, Jojo, and Kaitlyn who are all still engaged to the men they gave their final rose too. Funny enough they all said that the men they chose also happened to be the ones who go the First Impression rose and gave them their first kisses on the show. I made a mental note to pay close attention to who was getting the First Impression rose tonight.

Anyway, while the first episode is never the most interesting, it’s great for trying to figure out who will be making it far, who will be the season’s villain and for laughing at ridiculous entrances. This season is no different. I already spotted some guys whom I think will make it to the top 6, the guy who will most likely be the season’s villain and shook my head at a guy in a chicken suit.

I tried to take notes on all the guys but some of them weren’t that interesting, or I forgot their name (which usually isn’t a good sign for their longevity on the show), but let’s get into the ones I do have.

Grocery Joe
One of the guys given an intro spot was Joe. Joe is an adorable grocery store owner who as his bio says “is ripe for love.” I don’t remember his entrance so it probably wasn’t that great but he just had that look of a nice guy and instantly became one of my faves

Garrett’s intro reel didn’t jump out at me to be honest, yet everyone on Twitter seemed to love him. He seemed okay, like your average white guy who likes to fish. His entrance did consist of driving in with a minivan to show Becca how much he wants to be a family man. That entrance was pretty cute, and Becca seemed to dig it as well.

Clay is a sweet guy who loves football. He oozed sensitivity and is super adorable. He seems like a great guy but maybe a little too soft-spoken for Becca in my opinion.

Bring in the human Ken doll who goes by the name Jordan. Jordan clearly is not going to be the winner because he was painted as the villain from the get-go. Not so much the “no one likes him, stabs you in the back” type of villain but the “talk behind your back about your fashion choices” villain. He is a pensive male model who probably takes longer to get ready than Becca. Not a fan, but I’m sure he will be a source of comedy for the next few weeks.

This guy was a complete ass-hat. He got out the limo and walked halfway to Becca and asked her to come to him. “What the hell,” I thought, this is her show why are you making her come to you. He said some line about how relationships should be 50/50 and I was like oh I get it; I guess that’s clever. But then he had the nerve to back up and say “how about 60/40”. Becca was not having this. Also, his job title was “Social Media Participant” so there’s that…

Jake (not from State Farm)
This super average guy named Jake comes out the limo and Becca asks if she knows him. Apparently, he’s someone from Minneapolis who has some mutual friends with her and has met her a couple of times. This situation instantly reminded me of the girl on Nick’s season who met him at Jade and Tanner’s wedding and the guy on Rachel’s season who knew her from camp. It didn’t go well for either of them so I don’t expect it to for Jake.

Lincoln was one of the men on After the Final Rose and I remember thinking he was super sweet and had a great accent. After five minutes of him talking, I decided that he was a tad annoying. That didn’t change during his limo entrance. I want to like this guy but I don’t think he’s going to shut up enough for me to get a chance to.

Jean Blanc
All I got from this guy was that he is a cologne-oisseur. So he probably smells good.

Colton seems like a big sweetheart who used to play pro football and now does charity work for cystic fibrosis. He also used to date Aly Raisman which is interesting. He seems like a good guy and I think he will be in the top six.

Nick decided to show up with a racecar outfit to remind Becca of Arie. Luckily he took it off and had a suit underneath. I’m not sure why bringing up her ex seems like a good entrance idea.

This guy had the audacity to bring a cutout of Arie during his entrance. If I were Becca, I’d be a little annoyed to have my ex-fiancee standing around the mansion all night.

Connor came out the limo fake proposing to Becca and used her catchphrase “Let’s do the damn thing.” By the end of the season, I’m sure Becca is going to hate those words.

He came to the mansion in a hearse and told Becca that when he found out she was going to be the Bachelorette “he literally died.” I give him props for being very committed to his joke.

I feel like Chris made himself look bad later in the night, but his entrance was my fav. He said he knew the way to Becca’s heart was to impress her uncle who is a pastor, so he brought out a WHOLE choir. About ten people came out of the limo to sing to her. I also think he’s probably the best looking out of the guys. He is currently my favorite.

Christon used to be a Harlem Globetrotter which is pretty cool. He also has weird catlike eyes.

There always has to be one person that comes in costume, and this time it’s David. He comes out of the limo in a chicken suit. I have no idea what he said to Becca because I was too busy laughing at his outfit.

I don’t remember his entrance but he had a cool Harry Potter tattoo and seems like a cute nerd. I’ll put him towards the top of my list.

I don’t remember his entrance but the one time he spoke he said he helped create Venmo. Dude, why are you on this show?

He was the guy who came on After the Final Rose with a horse. A lot of people seemed to like his entrance then so I think he tried to one-up himself by riding in on an ox. Hopefully, he does more than show up with random animals to his dates with Becca. I do like him though and hope he goes far.

Chase, Darius, and Ryan also had their first entrance on After the Final Rose but they didn’t seem that memorable to me.

Like I said I didn’t list all the guys so whoever I missed is probably gone, will be gone soon or came out while I was getting a snack.

The cocktail party starts and I got a little sidetracked with reading Bachelorette tweets but I managed to catch most of the good stuff.

Becca began getting pull away by guy after guy. She played with clay with Clay, got dunked over by Christion the globetrotter and fished with Garrett. It honestly looked like she was having a lot of fun until in typical Bachelor fashion, someone was called out for not being here for the “right reasons.”

Chris said he kind of knew Chase from back in Orlando because he was friends with his ex. When Chase was on After the Final Rose, the ex texted Chris saying she doesn’t think Chase had the best intentions going on the show. Usually this stuff comes out around Week 3 so Chris was unsure what to do. He eventually confronts Chase about it and Chase says he is here for the right reasons and goes to tell Becca. Since Chase didn’t know what this text said he brings in Chris who explains what he heard and Becca looks confused and tired. After both guys leave, she realizes that she should be looking out for people who aren’t there for her and confronts her acquaintance from home Jake. She asks him why he has never pursued her when they have met multiple times to which he replies that they only met once. She wasn’t having this and sends him home. Becca is not here to be played with.

Chris Harrison comes in with the daunting First Impression rose and all the guys start sweating. Becca comes in and awkwardly grabs the rose and pulls away Garrett. She offers him the rose and he of course accepts and I think they kiss. I wasn’t paying attention because I was reading an article about Garrett having a history of liking homophobic, transphobic and misogynic Instagram posts before coming on the show. Obviously you can’t always trust everything you read online but Garrett has officially been demoted to the bottom of my list and I hope Becca grills all these guys before picking her final one. If the trend of the last three Bachelorettes continues, Garrett will probably be getting the Final Rose. I sure hope that isn’t the case.

The rose ceremony starts and after what seems like 100 names have been called, we are left with five guys going home including Chase with the bad intentions, Mr. 60-40 Kamil and Grocery Joe. The other two guys I have no idea who they were nor care. Sorry fellas. I am pretty sad about Grocery Joe though and so was almost all of Twitter. I hope this means we’ll be seeing him in Paradise.

So the first night ends and we are treated to a big super tease of the season which of course seems super dramatic. Hopefully, Becca continues the semi-successfulness of the Bachelorette and finds her a man that won’t ditch her for someone else a month later. Next week starts the dates and the real show begins. Let’s do the damn thing!

And that will be the last time I’ll be using that phrase.